How to Help Someone Having Suicidal Thoughts

It’s National Suicide Prevention Week, and people continue to be more willing to talk about their struggles, so it’s important to be prepared when a friend or family member is having suicidal thoughts. 

You don’t have to be a trained professional to help. If you have a gut feeling that someone is struggling, ask. Say something like, “I know this is an awkward topic, but you don’t seem like yourself. Are you struggling right now?”

988

First, the new 988 Suicide and Crisis Hotline is now available 24/7 nationwide, so call them immediately for support.

Trust Your Gut

You don’t have to be a trained professional to help. If you have a gut feeling that someone is struggling, ask. Say something like, “I know this is an awkward topic, but you don’t seem like yourself. Are you struggling right now?” 

When someone is depressed, they’re less likely to reach out for help because they feel like a burden. 

“Thank you for telling me”

If they tell you they’re struggling, before you say anything else, thank them for telling you. It takes tremendous courage to say something as heavy as this topic out loud, and your affirming words will bring them comfort and help them feel cared for. 

Stay calm

While you will probably feel scared on the inside, it’s critical that you remain calm on the outside. They took a big risk by telling you this struggle, and they’ll likely shut down or run away if you freak out. Keep a low, quiet tone of voice and relaxed body language. It’ll help them open up more and continue the conversation. 

Listen

Your mind will probably race, so do your best to intentionally listen to what they say. They need to be heard, not told what to do. Listen with an open mind and no judgment. 

Factors like these are important to figure out

• whether they have a specific plan 

• how long they’ve been feeling this way

• how strong the thoughts and feelings are

• what they think might be some root causes

• what they’re willing to do in order to get help

“I care too much about you to do nothing”

Remind them that you care about them, and that means you can’t just keep their secret. Your love for them requires you take steps to help them. Offer to call the 988 hotline with them right there in the moment. Help them schedule a therapy session. They need to take action, but they might not have the mental energy or bandwith to do anything on their own.